Friday, November 8, 2013

The Homeland Security Zombie Killers

The Department of Homeland Security has been training to kill 'zombies.'

I guess this is supposed to be funny and hip.

How 'with it' Homeland Security is.

Zombies are popular, so they train how to kill zombies. Get it? Ha...ha...ha.

Well, I have a few questions on the 'zombie' training.

First of all, why are the zombies SCREAMING?

Zombies don't scream. They quietly munch on your face or whatever while growling quietly or something.

But the Homeland Security zombies scream.

I don't think the zombie players did that on their own. They were told to do so.

You know, scream, like desperate people as they get shot in droves.

Good training.

So there we have the Homeland Security Gestapo emptying their guns into masses of screaming zombies who obediently fall and die in droves, forming a ghastly carpet of corpses in front of the smiling Homeland Security personnel.

Funny, get it? Ha ha.

Yes indeed.

If it was all about fun, why not have some zombies jump on and tackle some of the homeland security people. Just for fun, you know. Then the homeland idiots could turn into zombies too. Get it? Fun!

No, that didn't happen.

Too disrespectful perhaps (everybody knows Homeland Security people are untouchable gods -they've even been caught shouting this at the top of their lungs).

Or maybe it didn't happen because there was some REAL genocide programming happening, like, for example: how to mow down masses of desperate Americans with automatic fire.

Most viewers fail to notice the bio suit along with the rest of the biohazard equipment brought out at the conclusion of the 'fun' exercise.

I know modern movie zombies are contagious, but I think perhaps Homeland had a more practical approach in doing so.

What the zombie operation really looks like to me is a type of training for enforcing zero-tolerance quarantine on a 'contaminated' population.

Everybody knows the type of deadly 'pneumonic' (air transmissible) plagues they are working on in the laboratories.

Everybody knows they believe the population of the world should be reduced by 90%.

So why not practice mowing down people in droves?

Homeland troops would never do that, would they?

Well, you have to figure the dumbed down, open-minded, half-hypnotized personnel they have.

If a plague breaks out...and an area is quarantined...and the quarantined population wants to break's a whole new ballgame.

First of all, the quarantined population is seen as a bio-hazard and a national security threat.

Each individual within that quarantined area is a likely carrier of whatever plague has broken out.

At the same time, the quarantined population could be going through starvation, thirst, filth, lack of medical attention – you know, all the things that would encourage you to move elsewhere.

Ergo the zombie training.

Mow those suckers down.

They're not human beings anymore, they are 'carriers.'

If you let just one escape, you might be killing thousands more (this at least is what the Homeland Security monkeys will be told).

So fire away. Shoot them all. And don't dare touch any of them (unless you are wearing a bio-suit!)

Then have the special bio-suit astronauts gather all the corpses to burn inside mobile incinerators.

The more you kill, the safer America gets!

Do it for the Red, White and Blue!

So yes, Homeland Security personnel WILL mow down masses of desperate Americans... just depends on what type spin Homeland Security puts in their simple little brains.


  1. Funny, the picture you show to represent Zombies are all Africans, and not zombies. Couldn't find a single picture on the internet of a ZOMBIE?? What a racist prick you are..

    1. Before you look at him as a mean, self centered guy look at your self, although i think i know the reason why you are doing this, to show the wold you really are the biggest fag on the internet because a nice person would not look at a person doing a good deed as bad