Congressmen Returning As Monsters

I still remember JD Hayworth

...a Channel-10 sportscaster

...who one day decided he wanted to go to Congress...

...and he did.

Now J.D. was a likable TV persona.

He was always on the big side, but also a bit pudgy.

He had a good sense of humor and was always upbeat and dynamic.

The regular JD Hayworth

Then he got elected.

Arizona waved it popular, pudgy sportscaster-turned politician and wished him the best.

A few years later JD Hayworth returned.

My first reaction was "What the hell happened to him?"

JD had changed.

He seemed somehow taller...more massive...muscular...tanned...

...and ugly.

He looked like a 7-foot reptilian.

His voting record had changed along with his looks...

....and had aligned itself with Bush "conservativism" (actually fascism passing itself off as conservativism).

JD had left an easygoing popular one-of-the-guys...

 ....what we got back was humorless Frankenbooger.

 I mean where did the tan and muscles come from?

The Monster We Got Back

 And these were giant STEROID muscles, not just regular muscles.

Did JD have so much free time on his hands that he could dedicate to tanning and muscle building, combined with expert use of steroids?

What about all that legislative work?

Well, I put the whole Hayworth transformative incident aside as one particular man's 'journey' through Washington D.C.

That is, until Jeff Flake came along.

Jeff Flake was a conservative's conservative.

A native-born Arizonan who couldn't help spout his heart-felt conservativism, from abortion, to gun rights, to limited government and Chrisitanity (in his case, Mormon Christianity).

Soft-spoken, with boyish looks and a humble personality, Jeff Flake soon became the sweatheart of Christian conservatives in his district and beyond.

The original Jeff Flake

Jeff Flake was promptly elected to the House of Representatives and was consistently cheered for his spotless conservative voting record.

I still remember an interview in which he got caught with a foldable hammock in his congressional office.

Flake admitted that he did work late hours.

Then he meekly admitted that a representative's pay was really not enough to rent an apartment close to the Captitol Building, and that several Congressmen really lived in their offices!

Further questioning pulled out the confession from flake that government's role was limited to protecting society under the Constitution and that there was little role for it beyond that.(no welfare, no involvement in education, no regulation, no interference with the states) and that government didn't really need to be very large at all.

Well, many Arizonans celebrated at that little show of soft-spoken, yet strong-willed conservative humility and were thankful we had a REAL Conservative in the House.

Time passed.

With time, Flake's voting record got weirder and weirder.

He started spouting off that the TPP (Trans Pacific Partnersip) - a nation-ending international economic dictatorship - was a good idea.

And it got worse from there.

Then he came to visit.

What walked out of the passenger jet was unrecognizeable.

Tanned, muscled...ugly...and mean looking.

Just like ol' JD looked when he came back. 

The New Uglier Jeff Flake

"Who the hell is that?" was everybody's reaction.

Not only did Jeff Flake seem taller, more muscular, more tanned, but also ugly and dangerous looking...and humorless (just like JD Hayworth).

The smiling, boyish-looking representative who wore his heart on his sleeve was gone.

I mean, who is this guy in the picture?

Did someone break his nose?

Proof of Flake's newly muscled body can be seen below

The New Super Muscular Flake

What did he spend all his time doing in Washington?

Taking steroids, building muscle and getting a tan?

And what's with the  broken nose?

Do you remember all those times during the Bush Administration when the President...then Rumsfeld...alternately appeared with bandages on their faces (Bush said he choked on a pretzel the fell and hit his face on a table).

Much later, John Kerry would appear with a face that looked as if it had been kicked by a mule.

Anyway, we sent a clean-cut, youthful-looking, Christian conservative to Washington...and got back the same Frankenbooger-looking entity that JD Hayworth had turned into.

And his voting record had changed too.

Recently, Jeff Flake, the Christian, anti-abortion, pro-family, pro-gun Conservative from Arizona...

...recently proposed a GUN CONTROL bill to Congress which removes the right of anyone on the No Fly List from owning a gun?

WTF?

Since inclusion in the No Fly List is arbitrary, secret and unalterable, this will basically give the Federal Government the power of taking away your guns by simply writing down your name on a list!

This is NOT the Jeff Flake we know and love.

In fact, WHERE is the real Jeff Flake?

Has he been BLACKMAILED by the CIA apparatus whose job it is to compromise every single member of Congress?"

Has he defected to the Illuminati?

Has Flake simply gone to the devil?

Or has the real Jeff Flake been killed off and replaced with a clone?

After seeing two representatives go away to Washington and come back as tanned, muscled, ugly, mean-faced, humorless, ideologically unrecognizable monsters...

...one is tempted to inquire.